I begin again.

Four days ago I had a biopsy on a breast lump and an enlarged lymph node, and the next day was diagnosed with cancer. I know this is nothing new and startling--thousands of women every day are given similar diagnoses. Of course it always startling for the woman receiving the news! I had been in denial for about a year and a half after discovering my breast lump--partly because at first it didn't feel like a cancerous lump.

I had been checking my breasts on a regular basis, and also asking my massage therapist to check as well. When I discovered the lump, it was rather sizable--more like a small egg, not the little pea I had been looking for. My doctor checked it as well, and noticed that it moved around (to the touch), which was a good sign. She suggested I get a mammogram or an ultrasound. I had not had a mammogram before. (Yeah, I know--tsk tsk--but I had read that the act of squishing the breast tissue could be damaging, and could actually help a cancer get started--probably not scientific, but it made sense to me--more about tissue damage later.)

Instead of getting an ultrasound, I opted for a thermogram. I found a clinic in Kansas City that did these diagnostic procedures that can identify potential cancer in the breast even earlier than mammograms. The thermogram measures the temperature of the body, and shows it in vivid color. Warm areas are yellow, orange, and red, and cool areas are green, blue, and purple. It is a fascinating technology. The thermogram showed the lump clearly as a blue-green egg shaped thing in the middle of my breast. The radiologist's report that I received did not indicate this might be cancer, but it did suggest that I get an ultrasound or mammogram to be sure.

OK. I knew there was something there, but it wasn't warm (orange, red, or yellow) as I thought a cancer would appear. It appeared and felt like dead tissue of some kind. I decided to keep an eye on it and improve my diet as well as using castor oil packs (as recommended by Edgar Cayce) and urine therapy.

Ah, urine therapy! This is a whole other story, which I won't go into right now. Suffice it to say that I had been practicing urine therapy for many years, and it had saved my life at one time. More on this later.

My "egg" continued to grow very slowly. Sometimes I thought it was getting smaller--it seemed to wax and wane--but now I think it just felt different when I was in different positions. I really didn't worry about it much that first year. But when it hadn't gone away after a year, I decided maybe I should go ahead and get that ultrasound.

Last July I went in for the ultrasound. The ultrasound technician (a very sweet young woman named Melissa) discovered a lump on my lymph node as well. The doctor who looked at it said I should get a needle biopsy--the growth looked suspicious. I scheduled the procedure, and started taking Modified Citrus Pectin (MCP) as recommended by Dr. Williams in his health newsletter.

MCP has been shown to prevent metastatic growth of cancer, and he recommended anyone getting a needle biopsy or surgery take MCP at least two weeks beforehand to help keep the cancer from growing. Metastasis occurs when cancer cells get into the blood stream and travel to other sites and attach themselves onto tissue and start growing. Apparently there is a question about whether needle biopsies could disengage individual cancer cells from the tumor, and release them into the blood stream, thus inviting metastasis of the cancer to other sites. I mentioned this to my doctor, and she laughed it off, saying, "if needle biopsies caused metastasis, they wouldn't be doing them." Hmmm--I wonder how many people who get needle biopsies end up with metastatic cancer? I'll bet those statistics haven't been gathered.

However, I knew the biopsy would cost me around $1,000, and we do not have health insurance.

I thought, "if this turns out to be cancer, what will I do? I will not opt for surgery, chemotherapy or radiation. I will improve my diet even more, and start doing more intensive urine therapy and look at other alternative therapies that strengthen the immune system." Since none of the things I would do were treatments that would hurt me, and in fact would only make me healthier, I decided to go ahead and start them, and see if I could make the lump go away. I canceled the scheduled biopsy. Then I got to work.

(This paragraph actually describes something I did earlier, but I can't seem to move it to the right place in the blog--still learning how to write text here.) I had read a book called "Sanctuary" by Stephen Levine that presented a sort of long distance way of strengthening the body through computer generated frequencies applied to a photograph. I looked into it, and found a facilitator in Kansas City who helps people apply and get on the program--called the "AIM program. There are many testimonials as to the effectiveness of this program, and I'm not going to explain it more here--you can go to the web site and get more details. At the end of last April I decided to get on this program and the first thing they did after I sent in my picture was to test my "life energy." I was surprised when my reading came back quite low--so low that they couldn't guarantee positive results! At that time I was feeling vibrantly healthy--lots of energy. I was sure they must have made a mistake. I decided to do it anyway in hopes that if what I had was cancer, the AIM program would help me get rid of it by raising my vibrational frequencies.

I cut out all refined sugar and other carbohydrates from my diet, started eating raw foods and making fresh juice, started drinking Kangan water (a highly alkalinized water), started taking supplements and certain herbs (Graviola, Cat's Claw, and mushroom extracts), doing urine baths and taking more saunas, using some light therapy, and continued meditating, praying, and using health affirmations (which I had been doing all along). I was not terribly diligent about all this--sometimes I would forget to take my supplements, or I would run out of Kangan water and be without for a couple of weeks, the urine baths got tedious, and I started eating other foods, even occasionally indulging in desserts. However, I did achieve my ideal weight of 130 pounds, and have been able to keep it at that level. (I was only around 145 pounds before, so it wasn't a big loss for me.)

I also consulted with some health practitioners. My husband John is a chiropractor, and he helped me research things I might do, and he also made dietary recommendations (which I didn't always take). We met a couple of health practitioners, Bernadine and Charlie, who live way out in the country in the hills of the Ozarks, and they invited us to come stay at their cabin for a weekend. They are proponents of ionic foot baths, and several other health treatments. They gave me several foot baths and some other treatments. I went to a naturopathic physician in Oklahoma who uses Rife machines, a "cold laser" machine, and nutritional supplements and diet to support better health. I had also been using a VIBE machine in Joplin on a frequent basis from the time I first discovered the lump.

But, none of these things made the lump go away!

So, I decided to get the biopsy. Even lying on the table having needles poked in my breast, I thought, "this will come back negative." So, I was shocked when I received a phone call from my general practitioner saying she had received the pathologist report, and both the breast and lymph node were cancerous.

I was shocked, but not frightened! The main feeling I had was relief--now I know what I'm dealing with, and I can proceed accordingly. Since the lump seems to have grown rather slowly over the last year and a half since I discovered it, I think that all the things I've been doing may have had an effect on it after all, it just wasn't enough!

I've been researching more intensive cancer treatments since getting the word on Friday. I still do not consider surgery, chemotherapy and radiation as options. I've known and heard about too many women who died after doing these treatments. I think anytime you cut into the body, you open pathways for unwanted energies and pathogens to enter. I know what chemotherapy does--it destroys the immune system. I want to strengthen my immune system, not shut it down!

I know the doctor is going to push for surgery when I see him today. I'm taking my husband with me to the visit to give me more support in stating my wishes. The doctor will try to scare me into the conventional medical route, but it is the conventional medical route that scares me. I honestly think that the current standard treatments for cancer will someday be looked at with horror. There are so many life-sustaining, health enhancing treatments available that assist the body in flushing the cancerous cells out.

So, this blog will be my cancer journal. I am a professional storyteller, and we storytellers can get a bit verbose at times. I hope my blog can perhaps help others who are on similar journeys.