Alas! I had to return to my busy life after twelve days of bliss in the cabin. Bernadine wanted me to stay longer, but I felt I needed to return to help my daughter go to a twirling competition. It was a shock to go from total peace and having no expectations placed on me by others to listening to the same music played over and over at the twirling competition, and being at the beck and call of my daughter. Don't get me wrong--I willingly did this, and even enjoyed the competition. I know how much work the twirlers have put in to gain the skill they have, and they are all sweet, generous girls. (I have to post a picture of my beautiful daughter in her twirling costume!)
During my time in the cabin I discovered the wonderful joy of immersing myself in artistic creation, especially painting! I painted with both oils and with watercolor pencils, and found great satisfaction in the process. I can't say that I'm totally satisfied with the end results--yet, but I know that I do have some talent. I want to develop the skill. However, since returning to my rather hectic life, I've found very little time to paint!
I had hoped that spending some time in bliss would help me realize complete and total health, but that didn't happen. The lump is still stubbornly present. I did consult with a naturopathic doctor in Pineville (MO), and he suggested I take pancreatic enzymes that will eat away the protein coating I have created to protect the cancer cells. Once the coating is gone, my immune system can recognize the cells as abnormal, and get rid of them. He made it sound as if the cancer could be gone in a very short time through this means.
I immediately bought some enzymes that are supposed to eat away the protein coating of viruses and fungi, and the lady at the health food store said it was supposed to work on cancer cells as well, although the bottle didn't say that. I've been taking them three times a day on an empty stomach, and have gone through two bottles so far. Still no change is apparent in the lump.
I continue to listen to tapes of Abraham, channeled through Esther Hicks, and feel strongly that through the Law of Attraction I can manifest total health. The trick is to NOT focus on the cancer, and that is very difficult to do. However, in the past few days, I have noticed a turning point in my thinking. I am noticing immediately when I begin to focus on the illness, and I can pivot my thinking to positive thoughts, which create positive emotions. Abraham assures us that when we are feeling positive emotions, we are allowing source energy (God's energy) to flow into us unimpeded, and we manifest well-being.
I've composed a lovely song to help me do this. The words are: I relax and allow my well-being to flow freely into me. I relax and allow my well-being to flow freely into me. I am immersed in a sea, in a vibrational sea of Source Energy, and I relax and allow my well-being to flow freely into me.
The song is very effective at helping me focus on what I want: a totally healthy and vibrant body. One of the oil paintings I did depicts a naked woman floating in a colorful, vibrational "sea" with a rainbow-colored stream flowing all around her. I really like this painting. I put it in my bathroom where I can look at it often during the day. (As soon as the oil paint dries, I'll scan it into the computer and post it here.) Maybe I can sing the song and post it as well--not sure how to do that, but I'll try.
I went to a local meeting of people who are doing Reike, and was impressed by the power of the energy they are generating/transmitting through their hands. I am going to work with the man who started the group and see what comes of it. These people totally support my quest for healing outside the conventional medical model.
I continue to feel quite well, although a cough and irritation in my bronchial tubes comes and goes. A few days ago it seemed worse; today it is much better again. I have plenty of energy, and dance around wildly for at least a half hour several times a week (such fun!) as well as doing yoga regularly. We have been keeping our sauna stoked up all the time, and during the cold days we had recently, it was such a comfort to go to the sauna several times during the day and get completely warm!
(I wonder if anyone is reading my blog--I get very few comments. Anyone out there? ? ? ?)
